why can't I put myself first?
Wednesday, October 6, 2010 | 8:29 AM | 0 comments
My comeback is then, ''Why would I not be as caring about myself as rational about myself, as I'd be about a daughter?''
Why? Why? Why?
What goes through my mind?
- If he doesn't want me, I'm no good.
- I'll never find anyone else to tolerate me.
- I don't want to be alone.
- It's better than nothing.
- It's better than I've had.
- I'm ninety (I'm twenty when 29/11/2010) and it's getting late for me.
- I don't really think I could find anybody better.
- Sometimes he's not so bad.
- I don't know where I'm going in my life anyway.
- I'm too uncomfortable with my own problems to face them. Trying to help him makes me feel better.
- Caring for him makes me feel more meaningful.
- I'm too scared to face unknowns, inside myself or in the world.
- It's not so bad.
- It's hard to find people to have fun with.